Week 4: Meeting the Unwanted
“Stress is a particular relationship between a person and the environment that is appraised by the person as taxing or exceeding his or her resources and endangering his or her wellbeing.” Richard Lazarus
Typically we move away as quickly as possible from that which is unpleasant or unwanted. This week we experimented with moving in closer to see, understand and be with what is here.
We are building our capacity to hold all that is present in our lives. Through our practice we can cultivate a certain allowing or letting be quality.
Our stress response is hard-wired, automatic and habitual. When we experience a threat, the sympathetic nervous system goes into high gear. This unconscious, biological intelligence is awe-inspiring. And when functioning adaptively, these automatic reactions save our life. Fortunately, most of the time we do not find ourselves encountering life-threatening situations.
Unfortunately, physiologic responses to non-immediate stresses are largely the same as when you’re fighting for survival. We’re still prone to go into fight or flight when our sense of control is threatened, even if we’re just driving on the freeway or we receive harsh feedback from coworkers. Our brain still perceives events in terms of mortal threats to our well-being and sense of self, even when there is none.
Life Practice:
Experiment with alternating practicing the lying down yoga sequence with the body scan every other day (at least 6x per week)
Continue to experiment with the sitting meditation for 20-25 minutes per day, resting awareness with the chosen anchor and kindly, yet firmly bringing awareness back when the mind wanders. If sensations, thoughts, or emotions arise that are uncomfortable or strong, remember that you have choice in how you meet them:
If the discomfort is posture-related, shift your position slowly and mindfully;
You can shift your attention to a more neutral anchor or object of attention (the body in its entirety, a more specific anchor, a sound);
You can turn towards the discomfort and explore, making it the object of attention. Allow your natural curiosity to lead you. Are sensations sharp or dull? How large is the area? Are the edges of the sensation clear or diffuse? How do the sensations change over time?
You may also choose to pendulate between discomfort and a place of greater ease at a pace that strengthens your capacity without overwhelming.
Continue to practice mindfulness with your chosen daily activity. Notice when you’re present to your moments and savor them!
Experiment with becoming aware of automatic habitual stress reactions and behaviors during the week, without trying to change them in any way.